Just Thoughts on "Sexual Healing Used to Be Body Based" by Pamela Madsen

Pamela's blog post Sexual Healing Used to Be Body Based had this wonderful concept:

"What I learned, and chronicled in my book Shameless, is that when we are able to get in touch with our body, we are able to get in touch with our feelings. And that is where all the goodies lie."

My comment back on the blog:

"Yes, the body based therapies reach into our core being and free us to be as alive as possible. The body knows so much, has cellular memory, and will heal itself if allowed to lead the way per individual body. Thanks, Pamela, for opening a space to discuss as well as experience all this individually as well as in community of supportive people."

I wanted to put 2 links to articles here for now for further thought - for me & for you all -

Did Victorian era doctors use vibrators to treat hysteric female patients with orgasm therapy?

The Technology of Orgasm: "Hysteria," the Vibrator, and Women's Sexual Satisfaction

Anniversary

Yesterday was my husband's & my anniversary. 34 years. Since 1978 we've been together. 4 wedding ceremonies - 2 for official immigration purposes (both in USA & Malaysia,) 1 religious one (Christian, ) & 1 traditional Kayan (husband's tribe.) It has been the roughest, most peaceful, most alone but together, not alone but not intimate, sometimes intimate, comfortable, uncomfortable, frustrating, heart-rending, heart-healing, and learning time through these years. It has been a space to heal from some horrendous wounds for which I am deeply grateful. It has been a space to discover me. It has become a space to discover him in part, too.

I was taught that when as a woman I gave myself to someone that someone had better be my husband, that marriage was until death do us part, & that faithfulness was required. I emphasize the "gave myself to" as opposed to the having my body forcibly stolen from me.

I have said in semi-serious jest that the secret to a long relationship is never under any circumstances kill the other person. Relationships do work better when both people are still breathing.

So, where am I with my attitude, my feelings about, my pleasure in, my love for... my marriage? Right now it is a deep, powerful, strong-currented underground ocean with the periodic up-springing wells. It feels like the kind of joy only found in the singed but still breathing through the pain of climbing up to a resting ledge in the abyss with some clear blue sky finally in sight well above. Some birds are flying up there. Some clouds. Some trees even around the edges. Pleasure in the deep places, in the hard places, in the hard won places.

More climbing ahead, but for now a grateful respite in the ledge, admiring the view while thinking through the next part of the climb. Joy too deep to explain further. But, it is powerfully moving in the depths.

Flowers

Bring me not the cut or picked flower if you would show me love. Bring me instead a field of wildly growing flowers to enjoy season to season forever. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

Ride the Wind If You Dare

Silken skin of palest cream, darkest brown hair now mostly snowy white sparkling with the electricity of the lightning storm, the shadows play, flirting, darting with the flashing. Eyes glow then are hidden in the dark. Moaning softly, almost singing, beckoning like a siren call of heat, the draped sheet slowly glides to the floor. A storm symphony of heat, desire. Come, my love, ride the wind if you dare. ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw

To Be Kissed Evermore

Don't you understand that I long to kiss you with my whole being, to taste even your most hidden parts & bring them out to be kissed evermore in the light of my love? ~ Daphne Yvonne Bradshaw